This post is some random thoughts, not on fibery stuff.
I did NOT want to go to the funeral. There were going to be people there I didn't want to see. Just because people are family doesn't mean that they are nice people. But I went.
There were some wonderful people there that I would not have seen if I hadn't gone. That would have been too bad, as they did wonderful things for my morale!
It was so funny, though -- I don't know how many people looked at me and said, "I know who you are -- Mary Serena!" When I asked how they knew, over and over the answer was "You look just like your mother!" I am bemused by this answer, because I see my mother as she looks now, not as she looked many years ago, and I don't see much of a resemblance (sorry Mom, I know YOU do!.) Obviously there is, for so many people (who haven't seen me in YEARS to be able to make the connection. But SHEESH! (It is only in my father's extended family that I am known as Mary Serena, but there it is. If someone calls me that, I KNOW where the connection is!)
Two cousins, though, gave me the best compliments. One said he recognized me by my personality, then searched for words. Another cousin filled in with "ebullient" (which means overflowing with fervor, enthusiasm, or excitement; high-spirited), and he agreed, then said "bubbly and outgoing!" Wow! As he hadn't seen me since he was 9, and the occasion he remembers was my wedding, I am ASTOUNDED! And I cherish the compliments -- from BOTH of them!
I was also able to thank a cousin for something she had done years ago that means a lot. To her it was normal behavior, to me it was an extraordinary gift. Thanks again!
Sometimes it is best to go ahead and do things that are emotionally difficult -- there are unexpected rewards. I didn't expect anything from this trip, and was richly rewarded by the delight expressed by so many that I had made the effort to come, the compliments, and the fun we had. Not to mention some quality time with my aunt.